I was married on November 23, 2013 and had less than a year to plan my wedding.
I've always considered myself to be an extremely organized person, so when it was time to plan our wedding, I was excited for the challenge. I have heard so many people say they hated planning their wedding, so I thought I would share some helpful tips on what kept me sane and also things I learned myself.
// Write out everything you've liked and disliked about weddings you've attended
- We all have a list in our head of "I'll never do that..." or "When it's my wedding I am definitely doing this..." This list will help you when time comes to make decisions, just simply refer back to the list.
- TLC has some great wedding shows, you may get some great ideas by watching Four Weddings or Say Yes to the Dress.
// Create a wedding email address
- I suggest using gmail, you'll find out why later in this post.
- Sign up for promotional emails, websites, vendors, everything with this email address. That way when the wedding is over, you can cancel that account and you won't get any more wedding emails following the wedding day.
// Sign up for a website that has a massive check list
As a new bride, you're probably unsure of EVERYTHING that needs to be planned or decided. These websites have nearly perfected the check list with appropriate dates.
- A couple of my favorites are:
// Get a wedding booklet that has tabs of each category
- Barnes and Noble has a huge selection of planners.
- Stuff all of your receipts, contracts, color palettes, dress ideas, decor ideas, etc.
- Always bring this with you to your appointments in case a vendor has a question about something, you'll always have everything right there. If it's not there, it will be in your Google drive account that you can access with your phone or tablet.
// Sign up for Pinterest
- Make a wedding board, pin everything you like and think you would ACTUALLY do.
- I have two wedding boards, one is full of stuff I did for my wedding, and one is for my future freelance projects:
// Take care in designing your printed materials
- Am I a little biased towards having nice save the dates, wedding invitations or other printed materials? Yes, but for good reasons.
- Your save the dates are the FIRST thing your guests will see for your wedding. Get them excited to come by adding fun details, or a taking extra care in how they actually save the date.
- I have seen some fun stickers for people to put on their calendars, magnets, tying a knot when they open the save the date, custom written address on the envelope.
- Small details can make a huge difference, even down to the type of paper you're using. Having a rustic wedding? Maybe use a kraft paper envelope with a custom stamp on the front. Having a destination wedding? Have your invitation be a booklet that includes all of the information they will need to attend the wedding.
- Your various invitations should be... inviting. Yes, people say they get it and throw it away, but if it's something really interesting or unique, people won't throw it away, they will keep it because it is so unique. Really think about something fun you could incorporate to pull the theme through that only piece of your wedding they have.
- Your printed items are the face of your overall theme. Show off your colors, textures and personality that your wedding will be.
- See some of the designs I have done for clients.
// Start your guest list(s) early
- After you've created your wedding gmail account, start your lists in your Google drive. It's easy and always accessible.
- Start with writing everyone you ever thought you would invite, as time goes on, look at the list, you'll remove and add people as you both discuss the list over and over again.
- From a short to long engagement, friends will come and go, so when time comes to send those save the dates, you'll have a list that you've looked at a million times
- Start lists for your showers, wedding, bachelorette/bachelor party, rehearsal dinner, rehearsal, etc.
- I suggest having his/hers categories (his family, your family, his co workers, your coworkers...etc.). This will help when you both are reviewing the list to have everything organized.
- The spreadsheet should also include a column for estimated amount of guests, this will be a good indicator for making venue or food decisions.
// Lists, and lists and lists
- Google docs (psst this is where the gmail account is good to have)
- Google drive will be your best friend, here are some of the documents I had in my Google drive for my wedding. You can access these docs anywhere, share with family, friends, wedding planner, bridal party, etc.
- Items you need to purchase. Small things like boutineer pins, wedding shoes, jewelry, or wedding party gifts can be forgotten, or potentially purchased early on if written down. Then as you purchase them, mark it in the doc.
- Items that need to be designed. There are a lot of items that need to be physically designed and printed off (save the dates, envelopes, invitations, signs, thank you cards, etc...) In this list, you should also note if there is an example on Pinterest and refer back to it when picking these items out.
- Outfits to be purchased (rehearsal dinner, bridal shower dresses, suits, dress pants, bachelorette party). Keep an eye out and you can get all of these dresses for super cheap and have them prepared for these big days.
- Photographs. As you pin them, mark them down in your list, and just keep adding to them. When the big day comes, you'll have an entire list of photographs you want and won't be regretting not getting the ones you wanted.
- Another thing you can do is think about how the day will play out and what photos you would want captured during each of those moments.
- Song lists. Hear a good song you want played at your reception or wedding? Write down, you will forget them when the time comes to create a playlist.
// Become an online DISCOUNT shopper
- Sign up for alerts from Slickdeals.net, Groupon, Living Social, Wedding Paper Divas, Minted. Then after you've made your list (psst, from above), check their mailers and see if there is anything you need and can get at a discount. You will get to the point that you know what you have left to purchase and any time you are out shopping or run across a sale, you'll remember to purchase it.
- Check RetailMeNot for additional coupons before purchasing online.
- Look for your items on Amazon, and if you find yourself purchasing a lot from there, become an Amazon prime member for the year and get 2-day shipping for $80/year.
// Create a wedding calendar
Mark down every date (dress fittings, send items to printer, contacting specific vendors, payment due dates). Also set email reminders days in advance.... there will be no late bills or missed appointments.
// Budget!
- Don't be afraid to talk to all of the parents to find out what (if any) financial support they can provide. You can't plan a wedding if you don't know what you're able to spend.
- Create a budget spreadsheet, contact me if you would like a template!
- Mine laid out exactly who paid for what, when they did, what amount they had left to spend, and when the next payment was due. Our parents loved this, don't depend on them to keep track of your spending, let them know you've got everything under control and show this spreadsheet to them every few months.
- Give each set of parent(s) a specific vendor they will be paying for. Since these bills tend to be larger, it will be easier for them to plan out their spending and be able to knock their covered amount out in just a couple payments. You don't want to be bugging them every month for more money, that will be hard to keep track of and create potential problems. Be sure to always get a receipt if they pay a vendor.
- Create an estimated and actual column to keep track of your spending. Maybe you have more room to spend more on food because your dress ended up costing less than you thought it would. Don't forget to always mark these items down as you go along.
- My husband and I opened a joint checking account where we both put money from our own accounts into it. That way both parties are donating to the wedding, and you can easily track your spending from that one account and you both have debit cards at all times.
// Be a planner
- Your friends will tease you, but deep down they are a little jealous they weren't as planned out as you. With wedding P-L-A-N-N-I-N-G, it's best to figure out what you want/need early on, and then purchase, make, and decide, in the early stages of your engagement. Weeks out from my wedding I had very little to do, and was not the least bit stressed because I planned tasks out throughout all of the months I had.
- Pin it, then DO IT. I wanted a brooch bouquet, so I made it. Simple as that. If you really want something, either make time to do it yourself (by using your lists and calendar events), or hire someone to do it, but do it in advance and get it done with. Do not save it for another day, it won't happen.
- Create a day-of agenda for your family/wedding party (after you have your complete timeline done, of course). You will have 50+ people asking you the same questions over and over. Make the agenda by hour, tell people where they need to be, and the days leading up to your wedding will be a breeze. You can give it to them on the rehearsal night, or days in advance.
// Don't be TOO selfish
- Most people say "it's your big day, do what YOU want." Sorry people, that's a lot easier said then done. If you want people to show up and have a good time, then you will need to take their needs into consideration, to an extent. For example, if most of your guests are traveling to your wedding (2 hours +), send a save the date with info they need to plan ahead, make them a welcome bag when they check-in, plan group events (if possible) to include them in more than just attending the wedding.
- Do assigned seating. Think about those friends who know 1 or 2 other people at your wedding, they will be stuck at a table with people that they probably have nothing in common with. Take the extra time and decide who should sit by who. You and your fiance are the only ones that know ALL of your guests, place them with people they can share conversation with.
- Provide food you think most people will enjoy. Maybe you and your fiance like fish, that's great... what about the other 180+ people? My guess is maybe half of them are "OK" with fish. Same with the dessert, maybe offer a bunch of dessert options for people instead of one cake flavor. My husband and I offered 9 different options of desserts in hopes that every person would like at least one item and actually eat the dessert.
// Control the parents needs
- Sit them down before any major planning happens and kindly explain that you want their involvement, but remember what the day is about. This will help them understand right away, that the celebration is not for them and their crazy requests will probably be turned down.
- Don't be afraid to say "No". Choose your battles wisely, but if you strongly feel one of their requests is out of line, you and your fiance have the right to say no (kindly, of course). Just remind them, again, of why you are making the choice you are and hope they can support you in that choice.
// There is no "standard" or "normal"
- Every couple is unique, so any time someone tries to feed you the "...well usually..." or "...traditionally it's done this way..." or "...most brides..." tell them to shove it. Your wedding day should be a representation of you as a newly married couple. There is no "normal".
// Choose your bridal party carefully
- This is the one thing I would wait to do, unless you are 100% sure of specific people. My suggestion would be to ask people before the save the dates go out (which is about 4 - 6 months out).
- Like I mentioned above, things happen, friends come and go. Who you thought was one of your best friends when you got engaged, may become more distant as the engagement goes on. Really take the time to think about those people standing up there with you. They should be 100% supporters of you AND your fiancé, ready to be helpful towards making your wedding the best they can for YOU, not them, and be ready to spend some money.
- When you ask people, try to make it special for them, make them feel like you really want them part of your day. If you happen to have the info, tell them your expectations (financially and morally).Do you want them to attend all of the showers? Are they paying for their dress, hair and makeup, should they help plan the bachelorette party? Try to answer all of these questions and more. Yes, they are your friends and they should be willing to make the effort, but be respectful, and think about if that were you. You know them best, what do you think they should know?
- To anyone who gets asked to be in a wedding party. Being in a wedding party is not cheap, I repeat, NOT CHEAP. It can be, but don't be surprised if it isn't. If you get asked to be in a wedding party, and you are concerned about money, ask them what they think the costs would be right away. Don't wait until it's time to order your outfits and start complaining towards the end. Also, don't be afraid to express your opinions, but just because you say them, doesn't mean it's going to happen that way.
// Share the special moments
- I purchased custom robes for my bridal party (that matched my theme) so that they would all look pretty the morning of the wedding. I know not everyone can afford it, but I think it's worth hiring people to come to you and your girls in the morning.
- It's never fun to figure out rides to and from the ceremony location, and then worry about the weather, too.
- You can also set up a little food buffet for everyone to munch on while everyone gets ready.
- Include the mothers. I had my mom and my husband's mom get their hair/makeup done with my bridesmaids. They loved being in the room watching me and my friends get ready, Plus, they want to look their best for the big day, too!
- For one of their gifts, get some custom made button-ups for them to wear the morning of, it will make them feel special that you are including them.
- Custom made hanger with your future last name on it, (psst get the hangers with the notches). My girlfriend Ashley does them, and they are beautiful!
- Watches for the groomsman. We got all of our groomsman new Invicta watches, and they all loved them. What guy doesn't like AND will use a new watch?
- Matching clutches for the bridesmaids. You probably already got them their jewelry, why not supply them with clutches they can carry their various items in, too?
- Shoes for the bridesmaids. Every bridesmaid tries to go all day and night wearing those beautiful heels, but it never happens and they switch to flip flops. Look around for cheap gladiators, or flats they can all wear when the receptions rolls around.
- 45 person party bus for our closest friends. Not only were we able to fit our bridal party and their guests on our bus, we were able to fit most of our good friends on the bus with us, too.
- After-party food. After the reception, our guests were invited to go down to the restaurant below and eat some good food to fill their drunk bellies.
- Bigger rehearsal dinner. This worked well for us because a lot of our family came in from out of town. No, the bill wasn't cheap, but we loved having our family, bridal party and some of our friends there with us.
- Photobooth. This was our party favor to our guests, and everyone seemed to love it. Plus, we got a booklet of all of the photos and messages from our friends at the end. it makes a great booklet for the coffee table.
// Hire a day-of event planner
- I am an over-the-top planner, but when my wedding day came, I just wanted to enjoy everything we planned. My wedding planner, Chelsea, was AMAZING (if you're getting married in Grand Rapids, MI, hire her).
- Top reasons to get a day-of planner:
- They handle the scheduling. They will make sure your timeline is met, and everything happens on time by letting you know you've got 10 mins until this... and then telling your fiancé and his buddies where to go, etc.
- They deal with the vendors. A month+ in advance to your wedding, they will begin contacting the vendors and confirming times, contracts, price, etc. This is one of the biggest hassles most brides run into the week of their wedding.
- They have seen it all. They have planned several weddings, and know what they're talking about. If you don't know the answer to something, they will. Run into a problem? They know the answer and how to properly solve it.
- They are there to make YOUR DAY better. The smallest tasks (go get Aunt Piper and tell her to come to the room, get the money to pay the vendors, set your welcome tables up AND take them down, take your gifts up to your room, deal with complainers and people with questions).
- That is just a few off the top of my head that my planner did. They are not cheap by any means, but you WILL regret not having one.
- Heck if you are completely lost, hire a full-time planner. They will help with colors, theme, dress, desserts, everything that goes into a wedding.
// We wish we would have spent money on...
- A videographer. I have seen my friend's videos and they are so beautiful, with capturing an entire day in just a few minutes.
At the end of our wedding night, my husband said "This was the best day of my life, can we do it again tomorrow?" I was so happy to hear he had such a good time, it's so sad to hear when brides talk about how their wedding was anything but amazing.
Hope these tips help you if you're planning your own wedding, or pass these tips onto a friend! Feel free to email me or comment with questions, too.
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